Friday, January 30, 2009

Recession my asshole!

Hah, title totally unrelated to post but I'm lifted and what the hell right?

A lot of things have changed since the last time I posted. Barrack Obama Is our new president. He is basically the shit, so that's good. I work in pharmacy now, which thus far has been lightly affected by the death throws of our economy.

More later, just a warm up ^.^

Thursday, January 31, 2008

The day I was born!

Once upon a time in the middle of the pacific, there was a sailor hunting a great white whale. This sailor was a seaworthy as they come! He had arms the size of barrels and beat the shit out of people that ate spinach!

One night during a particularly violent storm the sailor was thrown overboard. as he sank beneath the tumultuous waves he could think of only one thing...

...Killing that damn whale!

So with his last breathe he left loose one small sperm cell into the salty ocean water. Soon after the great white whale happened by. Seeing his life long enemy crushed by the cruel hands of the sea saddened him. The whale knew that the man was good in heart and deserved a proper burial. Taking the man into his mouth the whale carried his broken body deep down to the soft floor of the sea. As he laid the sailor's body to rest something began to ache from within his stomach.

It was then that he realized the cruel trick of the Sailor. He had swallowed that single floating cell let lose by the sailor. Slowly he felt his insides rupture and and liquefy. With his last bit of strength the whale beached himself, looked to the sky, and smiled for he knew now that his battle with sailor was over.

For days the whales corpse rotted in the sun and then after some number of months a small lump appeared, and then suddenly tore and from within stepped out a man. It was not the sailor but close enough that some mistake him so.

This my friends is the story of my birth.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Totally unimpressed.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Seizure Fighting Robots

The blood mobile...

...The blood mobile came to work today. I never miss a chance to give blood. I don't particularly like needles but I feel it is my civil duty. Besides there is something mildly erotic about thinking of someone else living of your own blood...

Mildly creepy may be a better phrase

...In any case I have 2 poptarts and a can of Mello Yello for breakfast, and head on over to get stuck and hopefully dodge 30 mins of work for a good cause. Everything goes smoothly, they stick me and I bleed a pint and then they crimp the hose. After they seal the bag up they have to fill these little vials for what I assume are testing purposes. As the nurse ( a large 35 year old mail singing along with the country on the radio) begins filling the vials my field of vision begins to retreat. I look to him and say "I'm about to fall out." He responds with a smile and continues filling hoses...

From this point on the story was told to me by the nurses

...The next thing he knows I'm having seizures and attempting to swallow my tongue. All I can remember is laying my head back and thinkin' "I hope I wake back up." Well I did but there was a horrible screeching noise, lots of vibration, and 3 people I didn't know trying to hold down my arm to remove a needle. My totally awesome imagination kicks in and suddenly I think I'm being probed by space aliens trying to steal my Adam( I just finished bioshock sunday) So I respond in the only appropriate manner. I sucker punch the nurse, or at least I would have had I not stopped just shy of her face for realizing she was not an alien and I was not in a space ship or genetically mutated...

To end the nurses were all freakin out like woah, the cut my arm up pretty bad trying to get the needle out as I was seizuring. I just laughed and told them people normally have to pay good money to see space aliens, and got to for free.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Sept 6 2007 (yea I know a comma goes in there somewhere.) is a day that will live in the minds of the world for years to come. It was the day I turned 22. In fact CNN reporters captured sentiments from around the globe.

Xianghu Tsu of Bejing, China had this to say. "Zac was born in the year of the Ox! No child in my home will be born under any different sign."

Pierre Ricard of Paris, France also had an opinion. "Generally I do not like Americans, they are loud, rude, and generally uncaring, Zac is all these things and more! I love him!"

Rachel Sander of England wrote in. "I used to dream at night of a cure for cancer, then I met Zac."

I'd like to think I'm as great as a cure for cancer, and I probably am and then some, but that would be conceited right? So instead of gloating about the sheer amount of awesome contained in just my left big toe I will instead dedicate this post to the people who make me... me.

Dad: I spent 16 years of my life swearing I would not grow up to be the man that raised me, 6 years later I have become that man. The man that never settles for a "half-ass" job. The man who works hard even when those around him don't. The man whose words and tone can be more sharp than any blade. Looking back it scares me to think that I ever wanted to be anything different. Thanks Dad, you were stern, and while you've always been short of patience, you never left it to question how much you loved me.

Mom: Its been 22 years since you introduced me to this crazy place called Earth. You have used the last 22 years of your life serving and caring for me. You nurtured me when I was sick. You helped me to realize that no matter how many times some one stabs you in the back you should get back up and help them in any way possible. You taught me that there is much more to life than money, fame, and power. No matter how little you had, you always said "at least you had me." One day mother it will be my turn to take care of you, and I only hope that I give as much of myself to you as you have given to me.

Jack: You have been my best friend for the last 6 years, you have taught me countless things. Both, things I should not do, and ones that I would have been better off having done. You've shown me what its like to almost lose someone to the "real world" and why you should never give up fighting for a friend who needs help. you taught me how to laugh when its not at someone else's expense. You have be a key component in fighting the evil beast of naivety and for that I want to say 4F!

Family: My entire family from my smallest cousin to my oldest Aunt, my god how you have supported me. You praise me in everything I do, unless of course it is total bullshit in which case you have always let me know. In much the same manner as described in the previous sentence =P . If I was a spaceship that ran on love I could totally use you guys to make it to the far reaches of space. Horribly cliche and corny but totally true.

Everyone else: For me to write a paragraph about every significant person in my life would take far to much time. Everyone I have ever met has shaped who I am today, and who I will be in the future. I am content with myself up to this point, so thank you! but by god if I'm ever dissatisfied with myself I'm coming for all of you!


Readers(if there are any) don't worry after this post all others will revert back to the typical "I'm totally awesome at being awesome while being awesomepanawsome" format.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Barrack FTW!

“the notion that somehow not talking to countries is punishment to them — which has been the guiding diplomatic principle of this administration — is ridiculous.”
~Barrack Obama

Totally a true story.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

YouTube Debates

Firstly for anyone that missed the debates last night, you can find all the questions and their responses at

Last night the democratic candidates hung out with Anderson Cooper @ cnn and got their debate on. This is nothing new candidates have been debating in the public news forum for years, however this year the questions did not come from a panel of voters or a journalist. This year the people asking the questions were the users of youtube, and boy did they ask some tough ones. Here is the video the event opened with.

This video does a good job of setting the tone for most of the other questions asked through out the night. The questions were arranged in groups depending on their area of concern. Out of 3000 submissions 39 were chosen and shown. One video shows a man singing a song about taxes, while another shows an uninsured breast cancer patient asking politicians how they feel about her lack of insurance greatly decreasing her odds of survival. Even the religious community made it in on this one with a video that has a an African American Reverend asking candidates how they feel about religious beliefs and their place in politics(The reverend was against religion in politics.)

The best question of the night(IMO) was this one.

This question did a great job of showing that nothing about political debates has changed. The problem of political debates is two sided. The first being the nature of the questions, which with the advent of the youtube debates has been changed. The other issue is that politicians will flat out refuse to answer direct questions no matter how insignificant they may be. Out of all the candidates only 3 answered the entire question. John Edwards, Barrack Obama, and that one guy that made fun of the other dudes wife.

I find it very troubling that I live in a time where the people who lead my country cannot complete a social learning activity that 2nd graders have been able to breeze through since the words social learning activity existed.

Despite that rant I do want to give major props to Anderson Cooper, he did a very good job of not kissing everyone's ass and trying to make them stay on topic.